My Story - Depression

Tomorrow, Thursday 15th September is R U OK day. Its a national day of action which aims to prevent suicide by encouraging Australians to connect with someone they care about and help stop little problems turning into big ones. Who will you connect with today?

Depression isn't something i talk about often but its part of my everyday life. Looking back i had my first bout of depression in my last year of High school. I cant remember what it was that caused the depression, i just remember feeling really sad and it went on for some time. The word depression wasn't mentioned much back then and i cant remember telling anyone how i was feeling. i was fortunate it wasn't long lasting and i remained depression free for the next few years. Shortly after the birth of my daughter i started having trouble sleeping (a sign of depression) and i went to see a Doctor who prescribed some sleeping pills short term. I remember the Doctor saying to me he didn't think it was postnatal depression as i didn't look depressed. i put how i was feeling down to just being tired, being overwhelmed by early motherhood and the breakdown of my relationship with my daughters father. Over the course of the next 4-5 years i had bouts of terrible insomnia, anxiety attacks, i felt worthless and felt older than i was. When my daughter started school at age 5 i went back to work but had trouble coping being a single mum as well as the responsibilities that came with working. I stuck at it for 12 months, struggling day after day but not telling anyone about how i was feeling. Not long after i gave up my job i saw another Doctor who suggested i maybe depressed. I started seeing a counsellor & was put on antidepressants. I started sleeping better, my outlook changed and i started to feel like me again. I started working again and enjoying life for the first time in years. I was all of 25. I was eventually weaned of my medication and was mostly well for the next few years. About 6 years ago i had quite a lot of stress in my life and became severely depressed and for the first time was hospitalised. It was a huge wake up call for me and since then I've become very in tune with myself and when i feel myself slipping back i take action. Through a lot of trial an error i have found a wonderful GP and have been put onto a combination of medications which keep me well. The medication can only do so much of course and I've had to make lifestyle changes as well. These have included:

• Eating well


• Getting some exercise - for me its walking - it helps clear my head


• Getting enough sleep


• Keeping stresses to a minimum (easier said than done)


• Having time to myself - Riley goes to a daycare centre one day a week and has done since he was 6 months old. Often I've felt guilty about this, the added cost etc but really at the end of the day if I'm happy and healthy Riley will benefit as well.


• Simple things like showering first thing in the morning, getting out of the house on most days go along way in the overall scheme of things


• Asking for help when i need it - something I've always struggled with. I'm getting better at it though. Everyone needs help from time to time.

That's a very condensed version of my battle with depression. I don't feel any shame in talking about it. I just wish it had been treated earlier than it was.